I remember the first time I didn’t know the answer to a question in school — in first grade. We used to have a game where we would be counting by tens, say, and each person would have to go in turn. Well, one time it got to me and the previous number had been 990. The only thing I could think of that could come next was “ten hundred,” but I knew that wasn’t right. So what could I do? I burst into tears.
Of course, I much prefer the times when I have the answer, however unlikely. Today, this happened twice. The first was this morning when a colleague asked about an obscure bug that, coincidentally, I spent all of yesterday afternoon tracking down. I was able to tell him not only where the problem was occurring, but why and how to work around it. And then this evening a friend from church was telling me about an old electronic tuner he used to have which would register just above an A three octaves below middle C, even when his instrument was silent, and even when used in multiple places. Without trying, I had the sudden insight that this would correspond exactly to the 60 Hz of electricity used in this country and emitted by things like fluorescent lighting. Voila — mystery solved.
Since first grade, I think I’ve become a little better at dealing with all the questions that simply have no clear answers…of which there are many (and most of them more troublesome than counting, believe it or not). Mystery and ambiguity are rich and meaningful things. But all the same, there’s definitely something extremely satisfying about having someone ask me something and knowing exactly what the answer is, and knowing that I’m right.